Smallville Women: The Tango
by LovelyLadyJem
Summary: The Cell Block Tango, Smallville Style!


**Summary:** The women of Smallville sing their injustice of men to the song of Cell Block Tango.

**Cast: Chloe Sullivan as Liz**

**Dinah Lance(Black Canary) as Annie**

**Martha Kent as June**

**Diana Prince(Wonder Woman) as Hunyak**

**Lois Lane as Velma**

**Lana Lang as Mona**

The Men of Smallville all found themselves in a theater in the middle of nowhere. A stage of some sorts was set up and the men found themselves unable to get up or able to move.

Jonathan Kent, Clark Kent, Jimmy Olsen, Bruce Wayne, Oliver Queen, Lionel and Lex Luthor stopped their struggling when the heard music playing.

**Cue Music**

_**Chloe**_  
Pop

_**Dinah**_  
Six

_**Martha**_  
Squish

_**Diana**_**  
**Uh uh

_**Lois**_**  
**Talon

_**Lana  
**_Luthor!

_**Chloe**_

Pop

_**Dinah**_**  
**Six

_**Martha**_

Squish

_**Diana**_**  
**Uh uh

_**Lois**_**  
**Talon

_**Lana  
**_Luthor!

**Announcer...Which is Pete, dressed in a black tux:  
**_And now the six merry murderesses of Smallville County Jail in their rendition of "Cell Block Tango"_

_**Chloe**_**  
**Pop

_**Dinah**_**  
**Six

**Martha  
**Squish

_**Diana**_**  
**Uh uh

_**Lois**_**  
**Talon

_**Lana**_**  
**Luthor!  
The women finally appear on the stage  
_**ALL**_**  
**He had it coming  
He had it coming  
He only had himself to blame  
If you'd have been there  
If you'd have seen it

_**Lois**_**  
**I bet'cha you would have done the same!

_**Chloe**_

Pop

_**Dinah  
**_Six

_**Martha  
**_Squish

_**Diana  
**_Uh uh

_**Lois  
**_Talon

_**Lana**_**  
**Luthor!

_**Chloe**_  
You know how people  
have these little habits  
That get you down. Like Jimmy.  
Jimmy like to chew gum.  
No, not chew. POP. So I came home this one day,  
And I am really irritated, and  
looking for a little sympathy  
and there's Jimmy layin'  
on the couch, drinkin' a beer  
and chewin'. No, not chewin'.  
Poppin'. So, I said to him,  
I said, "You pop that  
gum one more time..."  
and he did.  
So I took the shotgun off the wall  
and I fired two warning shots...  
...into his head.  
Jimmy smiled nervously, _Maybe I should give Chloe some space_ he thought.

_**ALL**_  
He had it coming  
He had it coming  
He only had himself to blame  
If you'd have been there  
If you'd have heard itI betcha you would  
Have dome the same!

_**Dinah  
**_I met Oliver Queen from  
Star City about two years ago  
and he told me he was single  
and we hit it off right away.  
So, we started living together.  
He'd go to work, he'd come home, I'd  
fix him a drink, We'd have dinner.  
And then I found out,  
"Single" he told me?  
Single, my ass. Not only  
was he married...  
...oh, no, he had six wives.  
One of those Mormons, you know. So that  
night... when he came home, I fixed him  
his drink as usual...  
You know, some guys just can't hold  
their arsenic.

Oliver looked nervous, _Maybe I shouldn't have been such a playboy_, he thought.

_**ALL**_  
He had it coming  
He had it coming  
He took a flower  
In its prime  
And then he used it  
And he abused it  
It was a murder  
But not a crime!

_**Martha**_  
Now, I'm standing in the kitchen  
carvin' up the chicken for dinner,  
minding my own business,  
and in storms my husband Jonathan,  
in a jealous rage.  
"You been screwin' that Luthor,"  
he says. He was crazy  
and he kept screamin',  
"you been screwin that Luthor."  
And then he ran into my knife.  
He ran into my knife ten times!

Jonathan looked guilty, _Well I shouldn't have accused her of doing anything Lionel_, he thought.  
_**ALL**_  
If you'd have been there  
If you'd have seen it  
I betcha you would have done the same!

_**Diana  
**_Mit kersek, en itt? Azt mondjok, hogy a hires lakem lefogta a ferjemet en meg  
lecsaptam a fejet. De nem igaz, en artatlan  
vagyok. Nem tudom mert mondja  
Uncle Sam hogy en tettem. probaltam  
a rendorsegen megmayarazni de nem ertettek meg...

_**Martha**_  
Yeah, but did you do it?

_**Diana**_  
UH UH, not guilty!

Bruce looked relieved and let out the breath of air he had been holding.

_**Lois  
**_My sister, Lucy and  
I did this double act  
and my husband, Clark,  
used to travel round with us.  
Now, for the last number in our act,  
we did these 20 acrobatic tricks in a row  
One,two,three,four,five...splits, spread eagles,  
back flips,flip flops, one right after the other.  
So this one night before the show we're down at the coffee house Talon, the three of us,boozin', havin' a few laughs and  
we ran out of ice, so I go out to get some.  
I come back, open the door, and there's Lucy and  
Clark doing Number Seventeen the spread eagle.  
Well, I was in such a state of shock,  
I completely blacked out. I can't remember a thing.  
It wasn't until later,  
when I was washing the blood off my hands  
I even knew they were dead.  
Clark faced turned white, _Lois could probably kill me._

_**Lois  
**_They had it coming

_**Smallville Women  
**_They had it coming

_**Lois**_

They had it coming

_**Smallville Women**_  
They had it coming

_**Lois**_  
They had it coming all along

_**Smallville Women**_  
They had it coming all along

_**Lois  
**_I didn't do it

_**Smallville Women  
**_She didn't do it

_**Lois  
**_But if I done it

_**Smallville Women **_  
But if she done it

_**Lois  
**_How could you tell me that I was wrong?

_**Lois  
**_They had it coming

_**Smallville Women  
**_They had it coming

_**Lois**_  
They had it coming

_**Smallville Women  
**_They had it coming

_**Lois  
**_They had it coming

_**Smallville Women**_  
They took a flower

_**Lois**_  
All along

_**Smallville Women**_  
In its prime

_**Lois**_  
I didn't do it

_**Smallville Women  
**_And then they used it

_**Lois**_  
But if I'd done it,  
How could you tell me that I was wrong?

_**Lana**_  
I loved Alexander Luthor  
more than I can possibly say.  
He was a real guy...  
loving... a faker.  
But he was always trying  
to find himself.  
He'd go out every night  
looking for himself  
and on the way  
he found Helen,  
...Desiree,  
Victoria and Ollie.  
I guess you can say we broke up because of artistic differences.  
He saw himself as alive  
and I saw him dead!  
Lex sat there in his seat, stonefaced, but no one noticed the sheen of sweat on his forehead  
_**ALL**_  
The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum  
The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum

_**Chloe, Dinah, Martha  
**_They had it comin'

_**Diana ,Lois, Lana  
**_They had it comin'

_**Chloe, Dinah, Martha  
**_'Cause if they used us

_**Diana, Lois, Lana**_

'Cause if they used us

_**Chloe, Dinah, Martha**_  
And they abused us

_**Diana, Lois, Lana  
**_And they abused us

_**ALL  
**_How could you tell us that we were wrong?

_**Chloe  
**_You pop that gum one more time!  
_**Dinah  
**_Single my ass.  
_**Martha  
**_Ten times!  
_**Diana  
**_Miert csukott Uncle Same bortonbe.  
_**Lois  
**_Number seventeen-the spread eagle.

_**Lana**_

Artistic differences.

** Fin**

"Anybody else fearing for their lives?" Oliver asked.

"So are they planning on killing us, or what?" Clark looked nervously around the strange theater.

"More like how the hell do we get out of here?!" Panicked Jimmy.

The women on stage cackled evilly."Oh Boys, you aren't going anywhere."

The world stopped what is was doing to listen to the pain filled screams of those poor, poor unfortunate souls who decided to piss off the **Smallville Women **

* * *

So what do ya think? I was in a goofy mood and it sprang into my mind.

Review if ya want :D


End file.
